Van Mildert Alumni Association

Author: Rob Cowen

  • Mildert Reunion Weekend 2024

    Mildert Reunion Weekend 2024

    In July, Mildert came alive to the sounds of the 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s, as alumni returned for our annual reunion weekend. 

    The weekend began, as all the best memories do, in Mildert bar. After checking into their college rooms, alumni from throughout Mildert’s 59 years gathered for pizza, conversation and astonishingly cheap beer. A large cohort from 1984 settled into a corner to reflect on how Mildert has evolved over the last four decades. More televisions, mainly.

    I left the nostalgia in the bar and headed into town to watch Public Service Broadcasting and the NASUWT brass band peform in Durham Cathedral as part of a jazz festival. It is more than 20 years since I first stepped into that cathedral as a matriculating fresher, yet it still blows me away with its grandeur. The opportunity to see one of my favourite bands perform in that magnificent building was too good to miss.

    I woke on Saturday morning with a surprisingly clear head, so I walked down to Maiden Castle Sports Centre. For a ‘social’ sportsman like me, Maiden Castle is far more associated with exams than with athleticism, but this time I was actually there to exercise.

    The Durham Parkrun starts at Maiden Castle, does a few laps of some nearby fields, then rounds the bend of the river to finish on the racecourse. Few Parkruns can have a backdrop as beautiful as our castle and cathedral, and jogging along that stretch of river took me back to memories of racing there for VMBC.

    While many alumni used the afternoon to reaquaint themselves with the city, those who remained in college enjoyed croquet and giant Jenga on Tees Lawn, accompanied by a BBQ.

    The evening entertainment began when Trent Alexander-Arnold slammed England’s fifth penalty home, firing the Three Lions into the semi final and sending a bar full of Mildert alumni into raptures. The reunion dinner had been delayed a few minutes, allowing both alumni and kitchen staff to see the penalty shootout reach its conclusion.

    Buoyed by the result, we took our seats in the hall and enjoyed a delicious three course dinner. No points system, no meal cards, no gently frozen desserts. Afterwards, the kitchen staff, some of whom remain familiar faces after all these years, received a well-earned round of applause, and we took our bottles of wine through to the bar to continue our conversations.

    Sunday morning brought one final, if not entirely welcome, bit of Mildert nostalgia. Waking up in a college bed with a bleary head and the aftertaste of red wine, it took a few seconds to remind myself that no, I’m not 20 years old and yes, I do need to go to work tomorrow.

    So Van Mildert College is 59 not out… which means that next year is the big one. VM60 is a year long celebration of this wonderful community that has shaped so many lives over the last six decades. The centrepiece will be the next reunion weekend, which promises to be spectacular, so save the date: 4th to 6th July 2025.

  • Memories of a lost boathouse by George Weeks

    Memories of a lost boathouse by George Weeks

    By George Weeks, VMC 2003-06. VMBC Treasurer 2004-5; VMBC Boatman 2005-6

    Last December’s immolation of Van Mildert Boat Club (VMBC) was more than a straightforward fire; it consumed 56 years of history. 

    I joined VMBC as a fresher in 2003. Unlike the majority of my sign-ups, this commitment lasted well beyond Freshers’ Week. Little did I know how prominently this tiny green shed would feature throughout my Durham career.

    VMBC’s boathouse was a modest building, but its location was spectacular. Sitting on the edge of UNESCO World Heritage Site, arrival at VMBC always provided a sense of occasion, whether via Kingsgate Bridge or the riverside paths. The staircase leading from Durham cathedral to the boathouse was frequently used for land training a.k.a. hazing.

    Open the wooden double doors and the prows of rowing boats old and new greeted the oncomer; an array of bow balls. An old-but-serviceable fibreglass Aylings sat on wheeled dollies, accompanied by the new-in-2004 George Patterson, the lightweight wooden Temptress, two single sculls, a venerable double called Non Sequitur and two other wooden fours. High in the rafters sat an array of bright yellow blades – VMBC boats were visible from afar.  

    The George Patterson being prepared for its maiden voyage

    VMBC was always too small for eights. Not that rowing was unpopular – far from it – the boathouse was simply too diminutive for anything bigger than a four. Unlike the neighbouring Chad’s and John’s/Mary’s boathouses, VMBC never had mains electricity, thus giving a speleological flavour to any expedition to the back of the boathouse. Deep in the depths of the building you’d find a bewildering array of old steel riggers from long-forgotten vessels; the bones of rowing history. 

    Participation has always characterised Van Mildert College; this was similarly true for the boat club. Many first year rowers progressed to coaching in the second year; others led gruelling circuit training, ergo sessions and 2K tests (motto: “pain is merely weakness leaving the body”). In summer we bought rollers and painted the boathouse’s interior white. I dutifully marked all movable VMBC possessions (cox box, bicycle, etc) with small squares of yellow paint. 

    Maintenance was a constant duty. Seats, riggers, shows, electrics…all  needed to be kept in good condition. In rowing, mechanical failure can lose a race…as can collisions and clashed blades.  We frequently took boats for repairs at Brown’s, the boatbuilder under Elvet Bridge. In my committee positions as Treasurer and then Boatman, this pained me greatly. My all-VMBC e-mails would plead for tenderness in handling our boats. Did we really want our precious membership subscriptions to fund the boatbuilder’s newest Mercedes-Benz? 

    George Weeks prepares the George Patterson for launch

    Inter-collegiate rowing was a highlight of Durham, with an overriding sense of competitive camaraderie between the college boat clubs. Participate in a regatta, or indeed any rowing-related event, and you had the sense of adding your own tiny layer of history to the VMBC story. 

    Buildings do not need to be big or grand to have a sense of place. VMBC’s boathouse may have been no bigger than an average garage, but it encapsulated a half-century of rowing enjoyment. It welcomed thousands of Mildertians onto the Wear with bright yellow blades. It will be sorely missed. 

    George Weeks, 2003-06. VMBC Treasurer 2004-5; VMBC Boatman 2005-6

  • Where are they now? Martin Pengelly, NYC

    By Martin Pengelly, VMC 1996-1999

    I came to Mildert from Leeds in 1996, left in 1999, moved to London, worked for a few papers then went to New York in 2012. As an editor at Guardian US, I’ve covered Snowden and the NSA, the rise of Trump, the murder of George Floyd, Covid and the Capitol riot. My wife and three girls are American. We don’t get to the UK much.

    But Mildert is an irreplaceable part of my life. It’s part-genetic, instilled when my brother Owen captained the rugby team and showed me the way to the bar. There are the friendships too: Owen Murphy-Evans (my best man), Tom Mallaburn (my writing partner), Eleanor Holroyd and Mike Smith (Harrogate’s finest Mildertians, probably). In Manhattan, Alex Mysak doesn’t live too far from my newsroom.

    I’m asking for trouble, given I mounted strong campaigns for College Rah only to lose to Crap Duck. But if I think Mildert was about one thing, I think it was about a lack of pretension. It was about everybody having a place. It was about not caring much what others thought, particularly your supposed superiors, but respecting all while having a very good time. 

    The grounding that gave me helps make covering American politics in the age of Trump not just bearable but actively fun. Reverent irreverence, I call it. It was there in the rugby team, of course, with Tom Copeland, Callum Douglas and the great Michael Gunn. It was there in the phenomenon of the Kazu, in epic games of corridor cricket, in Katie Dunn’s willingness to call me out for being a wanker in JCR meetings.

    It’s hardly evidence of a crusading journalist in utero, but I’m proud of a couple of instances of irreverence to the powers that were. Both involved minor run-ins with George Patterson – a man who ran Mildert as only a true Mildertian could.

    I wrote for Palatinate that Lawrence Dallaglio should not have been fired as England captain for confessing to using recreational drugs. George collared me by the tuck shop. I wore the telling-off like a medal.

    I wrote a letter of protest when new signs went up, welcoming guests to “Van Mildert College and Conference Centre”. It was a nod to financial reality. I thought it could have been more subtle. George wrote back, unhappy. 

    Whatever. All these years later, all these thousands of miles away, Mildert rests in my soul. 

  • Where are they now? George Weeks

    At the start of 2017, I left the UK for a new life in New Zealand, having spent the previous five years at Transport for London (TfL).

    Auckland has more in common with Durham than you’d think Both are university cities. Both are characterised by their domestic architecture: Durham has its terraces in brick and slate, pouring up the hills from the viaduct. Auckland has its timber workers’ cottages and inter-war villas, with verandas and stained glass. Durham has lost three railway stations; Auckland almost lost its entire rail network. Some aspects are quite different, though. There are more tower cranes in Auckland than any American city. Major changes can happen quickly here – this makes for a very engaging professional environment. Auckland also has two harbours and more boats per capita than any other city.

    It’s quite a treat to live in a city where, during the summer you can finish work at 5pm, cycle five minutes to the marina and be sailing not long afterwards. Drop me a line if you’re ever passing through!

    — George Weeks (2003 to 2006)

  • Keepers of the College Things

    Keepers of the College Things

    Mildert has thrived for over half a century thanks to the hard work of the students who fill the hundreds of JCR positions. The library, the shop, the bar, social events, welfare services and much more are only possible because of the hours sacrificed by students looking for a way to avoid studying. Some even put the real world on hold for a year (or occasionally two) by taking full-time sabbatical roles after graduation.

    And then are there are those whose dedication to a single cause leads them to become a KOTC: Keeper of the College Things.

    These roles date back to at least the 1990s. The JCR’s standing orders from 1994 require the annual election of a ‘Keeper of the College Darkroom’, and while this role may not have survived either the loss of a college darkroom or the advent of digital photography, it does seem to have been the seed of dozens of similar KOTC positions.

    Some KOTC positions were serious roles, requiring specialist skills and knowledge, such as the keepers of the college multi-gym, drum kit and sewing machine. Others – like the KOTC Stallion, Spew and Stubble – had rather less clearly defined responsibilities.

    KOTC Things, as defined by the 2003 JCR Standing Orders

    The JCR standing orders expressly forbids the Keepers of the College Things from ever meeting together, presumably out of concern that the combined power of those with expertise in ducks, snooker rooms and spew would threaten the existing power structures.

    In 2004, the crime most feared by a KOTC Thing occurred: burglary. The JCR’s 42″ plasma TV screen was stolen from the wall, leaving the KOTC Plasma – George Weeks – with the unwelcome honour of being the only known KOTC Thing to outright fail to maintain the existence of their thing within the college.

    He had literally one job
    Police would like to speak to this man

    It is unclear if KOTC Things still exist, and the journalistic quality of Mildert News does not extend to me actually asking anyone, but there does not seem to be any evidence of these roles in the current JCR standing orders. It is unclear how the college can continue to operate effectively without someone dedicated to advertising the existence of its sewing machine, but somehow they soldier on.

    Here is a list of all the KOTC Things that I could find. If you know of more, please comment below or on the Mildert Memories Facebook group:

    • KOTC Drum Kit whose duties shall include the maintenance of the college drum kit
    • KOTC Ducks whose duties shall include caring for and the protection of the college’s duck, particularly newborn ducklings.
    • KOT Mildert Spirit whose duties shall include compelling members of the JCR to get involved with as much as possible within college and share Mildert love.
    • KOTC Multi-gym and four assistants to the KOTC multi- gym whose duties shall include the maintenance and improvement of the multi-gym.
    • KOTC Plasma whose duties shall include looking after the 42” wide screen plasma television located in the JCR.
    • KOTC Pianos whose duties shall include facilitating the regular tuning and maintenance of pianos around college.
    • KOTC Sewing Machine whose duties shall include keeping, maintaining and advertising the college’s sewing machine.
    • KOTC Snooker Room whose duties shall include the maintenance and improvement of the colleges Snooker room.
    • KOTC Spew whose duties are too vulgar to record within the Standing Orders.
    • KOTC Stallion whose duties include pampering and caring for the college stallion.
    • KOTC Stubble whose duties shall include maintaining visible facial hair growth for seventy percent (70%) of the academic year.
    • The Average Person, who shall be responsible for representing the average view on any JCR matter.
    • KOTC Drill, who shall be responsible for ensuring that the legend of the Drillman, and the associated song by Jonathan Fudger, continues to be passed on to new generations of Mildertians.
    • KOTC Friendly Sloth, whose duties shall include introducing the sloth into any argument to remind the two sides that they should be being nice to each other.
    • KOTC Grounds, whose duties shall include caring for the college grounds, the lake and the surrounding areas. The KOTC Grounds shall be responsible for recruiting and co-ordinating a team of volunteers to maintain and improve the grounds and to plant bulbs etc.

  • Where are they now? Rik Lomas

    Image result for rik lomas

    I’ve been living in Brooklyn, New York with my wife for the last three years, after 10 years of London post-Mildert. I am CEO and founder of a company called SuperHi, which is an online creative training platform. It teaches people in 85 countries skills like coding, design and product management within the creative industries.

    Image result for rik lomas

    SuperHi has staff in five countries and has investors such as Sir Richard Branson, Tim Ferris and the founders of Uber and FourSquare.

    I recently wrote a book called Learn to Code Now, a beginners book on coding, and I also

    unexpectedly danced on US national TV dressed as a Sour Patch Kid guard during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

    — Rik Lomas (2002 to 2005)

  • The Kazu: A Brief History

    The Kazu: A Brief History

    If you attended Mildert in the last twenty years, you will probably have hazy memories of ‘The Kazu’. This ritual, started by a Japanese student named Kazuhisa Fukatsu in 1997, involved a can of Coke being thrown, kicked, rolled and/or slapped, then sprayed over the head of a JCR election winner.

    What are the origins of the Kazu? What caused this visiting student to start a tradition that spans eight generations of Mildertian? Kazu himself was interviewed by former JCR President Martin Saville in 2015:

    The Japanese sketch that inspired the first Kazu

    I’m very glad to hear about people still ‘Do a Kazu’. I didn’t know about that. The reason I did ‘Do a Kazu’, before I came back to Japan, I wanted to do something as a memory. I want to tell people, gag of the Japanese comedian. The comedian, he clapped his chest while he say something. He beated his head with steel ashtray. You check the gag [see video].

    When I did ‘Do a Kazu’ I couldn’t find ashtray. I hit using coke. I just wanted to tell everybody the guy which I like.

    Kazu, interviewed by Martin Saville in 2015
    The Kazu, as performed by Kazu. From the 1997 Van Mildert yearbook. Photo credit: James Mackenzie

    So that’s that cleared up then. Kazu was imitating a shirtless Japanese comedian who bangs an ashtray on his head, but substituted the ashtray for a can of Coke. A standard Saturday night.

    This inaugural Kazu in early 1997 was witnessed by drinkers leaving the bar, creating a buzz around college and prompting both Kazuhisa himself and Kazu copy cats to recreate the event over the following weeks. Crucially, this coincided with the conclusion of a few JCR exec elections. As the election results were declared, the gathered crowd spontaneously erupted in a chant of “Ka-zu! Ka-zu!”. A 50p was found for the Coke machine and Kazuhisa was on hand to guide the winning candidates through his ritual.

    Although the Kazu has varied over the years, the core requirements quickly evolved into:

    1. After the results declaration, the winning candidate climbs the foyer staircase and is handed a can of fizzy drink. Although originally performed with Coca Cola, perfectly legitimate Kazus have been completed with Fanta or Cherry Coke. For a period, the college cleaners insisted that Diet Coke be used, as it’s less sticky.
    2. The candidate kicks the can down the staircase towards the baying crowd below, before running down after it.
    3. The candidate tosses the can three times over their head. A split can at this stage is said by some to be a harbinger of bad luck for the candidate’s year in office.
    4. Finally, the can is opened overhead, spraying the candidate and the gathered crowd with sticky sweet soda.

    Mildert’s 34th JCR President, James Mackenzie, has the proud claim to be the first to perform the Kazu in March 1997. Since then, the tradition has been performed by 20 other Presidents, and by countless Exec members. A hardcore few have performed the Kazu multiple times by virtue of holding more than one Exec position during their time at Mildert.

    For the audience, the Kazu is a uniquely hilarious spectacle, but for the participants it can mean so much more. After a couple of weeks of sticking posters in toilets, knocking on doors and singing weakly-comedic songs to a partisan audience, that high pressure jet of Coke is the climax of a draining election process. In June 2005 I was lucky enough to perform a Kazu and I can honestly say I don’t think I’ll ever feel more proud to be soaked in Coca Cola.

    I can report that, as of 2019, the Kazu is still performed, but only now by victorious presidential candidates. It is not clear when or how the tradition fell out of favour with winners of other positions.

    For more than a third of Mildert’s history, a strange ritual initiated spontaneously by a Teikyo student in a time before social media or camera phones has become a unifying absurdity between generations of Mildertians.

    Mildert News would like to hear from you. Did you ever perform a Kazu? Did you know Kazu himself? Please add your Kazu photos, videos and memories to the Mildert Memories Facebook group.